Closed RP with [Punched-Hitler]

[make_it_hurt]

He woke up slowly. It was an unusual feeling, to wake to nothing more than his body's own sleep cycle, instead of being woken up by harsh hands and pain. He honestly hadn't been expecting to wake up, sure that he was dead, sure that the bullet they had put in his chest should have killed him.

Instead, Bucky Barnes woke up in a hospital bed, oxygen line hooked over his ears, the steady beeping and whirring of machinery all around him. Everything hurt - his broken ankle, the bruises on his legs from beatings, the lash marks over his back. It is nearly torture to breathe, his chest wrapped tightly in bandages. This wasn't the dark, dank cellar he had spent (as close as he could figure ) six or seven months in. He looked around, head tilting from side to side listlessly, looking for family or a nurse or something.

His attention was caught by his left arm - or, rather, what was left of it, which wasn't much.

Days into his capture they'd started cutting off his fingers, one at a time, and sending him to his mother - to the President - in an attempt to get her to give in to their demands.

Then they'd started working their way up his arm, more as punishment than anything, before infection had set in and they had kept cutting back and back and back in an attempt to keep their bargaining chip from dying.

The stump of his left arm was wrapped in neat cotton bandages and Bucky swallowed hard, lifting his other hand to his lips, feeling them quiver against his fingers.

He finally asked, voice trembling, "Mom?"

She had to be here. She had been there for him his entire life growing up, there every time he got sick, even when she was on the election trail. If she couldn't get to him, they would talk over the internet for as long as it took until he fell asleep.

Bucky looked around, digging his ragged nails into his lower lip. "Mom?" He shifted, trying to sit up, and was instantly caught by the mess of wires and tubing around him. He laid back, blinking back tears.

She came almost at a run, heels clacking, the door swinging shut behind her. "Bucky!" She nearly collapsed onto Bucky's bed, grabbing his hand in both of her own. "You're awake, thank god." She reached forward and ran her fingers through his hair and he was suddenly aware that it was long enough to touch his chin.

He smiled up at her, feeling the knot in his chest ease. Bucky sagged back against his pillows and sighed slightly, letting her rub her thumb over the back of his hand. "I missed you, Mom."

"I missed you, too. Here, are you comfortable? Do you need another pillow?" She let go of his hand and started to fuss with his blankets and pillows, adjusting them around him nervously.

"I'm fine. Tired, but fine." He closed his eyes for a long moment then asked, opening them again, "I'm really here, right?"

She nodded. "You're really here, Bucky." She folded her hand over his. "Get some rest, I'll be right here, okay?" She smiled and watched Bucky drift off again, body falling limp. But it wasn't the same sort of boneless as before, the unconsciousness after being brought in, after all the surgeries. It was the unconsciousness of somebody asleep of their own volition.

She looked up once she was sure Bucky was asleep and stood back up, placing his hand on his stomach. President Barnes crossed back over to the door and pulled it open. "I'm sorry, Captain. Maybe you should come in and we can continue our discussion?" She stepped back.

Bucky drifted awake for just a moment, long enough to see his mother across the room talking to somebody that looked vaguely familiar. Before Bucky could place the face, he was asleep again.

Comments

[punched_hitler]

Steve frowned, glancing at Bucky briefly before looking back to the road. "Maybe they're not sure how to talk to you, after what you've been through. They might be trying to give you distance, not push you away." Of course, he didn't know for sure, and he didn't know anything about Bucky's friends, either. But was it really fair to write all of them off, just like that? "It might be worth being the person who reaches out first." Not that he'd push, but he'd just suggest it. That was all.

"Well, maybe retaking that year will give you a chance to figure things out," Steve suggested, trying to smile a bit. "No one expects you to have a plan overnight. And if they're smart, no one will expect the plan you have to still apply now." Because things like this could change a person, and that was just the way it worked.

He was, though, starting to suspect that Bucky wanted to actually get a dog. "Uh-huh," he said, not sounding convinced, as they turned onto the street where the shelter was. "Okay. We're just going to look."

[make_it_hurt]

Bucky shrugged. He'd been on Facebook since he'd been back, and apart from a few messages of the generic type - glad you're back, saw what happened on the news - there was nothing else. No indication that any of them wanted to see him, or talk to him, just blankness. He'd unfriended most all of them, though had found Steve's page and sent a request.

When they stopped in front of the shelter, Bucky clambered out of the car. "Yeah, we're just looking." He smiled and tucked his hand in his pocket.

He headed for the front door and paused, waiting for Steve to catch up.

[punched_hitler]

Steve was one of those guys that had a Facebook page, but wasn't attached to it. Though when he did actually log onto a computer, he'd certainly return the friend request. Honestly, if he was ever bored, Bucky might be able to help Steve keep track of all these online accounts, because sometimes they felt overwhelming. Even after a year or two out of the ice, it was still hard to process being able to reach essentially anyone, from anywhere, at any time.

"Okay," Steve said knowingly, making sure the car was parked and locked up. He was glad he wasn't in uniform - okay, sure, the uniform was good for publicity, but it was also pretty obvious. He wanted people looking at Bucky - for the right reasons - and not at Steve, if Bucky was going to pull what he thought he was going to pull. He jogged the few steps up to the door, and pulled open the door. "Have at, boss."

[make_it_hurt]

Bucky grinned and stepped into the lobby of the shelter. The place was almost deserted, with only a couple of people behind the desk. The door at the other side of the room was closed, but the barking behind it obviously led to the kennels.

Bucky headed through that door and was instantly diving down one of the rows of cages. He'd been on the shelter's website looking at the dogs already and had a couple in mind.

He most mostly after a puppy, so he wouldn't have to worry about any bad habits, but wasn't opposed to an older dog.

He headed down the row, pausing every few kennels to speak to one of the dogs or read their little biography on the door of the kennel. "See anybody you like, Steve?"

[punched_hitler]

Bucky seemed to head into that place with a goal in mind; Steve couldn't help but smile, greeting the staff members at the desk with a wave and following Bucky through the door to the kennels.

He, too, glanced through the dogs and their biographies, squatting down to give a couple of them some scratches behind the ears as they pressed their noses to the bars, clearly seeking attention. "Oh, one or two of these fellas look like good candidates. It depends on how large a dog you're planning to - ah, take for a walk," he teased, because it was so very clear by now that Bucky planned on taking one of these dogs for a walk, all the way back to the White House. "We should probably find someone who's not likely to cause too much trouble."

[make_it_hurt]

Bucky grinned at Steve then continued down the row. He paused at one cage, a bit stunned. The dog inside was obviously still a puppy, but it was already massive, with paws of a size close to Bucky's own hand.

It was laying in the back of its cage, painting heavily. The shelter was hot and its thick, long black coat probably wasn't helping matters.

The puppy got up with a hopeful whine when Bucky approached, walking to the front of the cage and sniffing Bucky's hand hopefully.

"Oh my god, Steve, look." He wasn't surprised to see "mastiff" on the sign. "Mom would kill me."

The puppy, according to her sign, was only 12 weeks old, a surrender.

Bucky reached between the bars and started to scratch her behind the ears. He was already in love.

[punched_hitler]

When Bucky paused, Steve already suspected he'd found something - someone - he liked. So when he exclaimed a moment later, Steve gave the dog he was petting one last scratch behind the ears and shuffled over to where Buck was petting...

Either a large dog, or a small buffalo. "Holy cow, Bucky," he laughed a little squatting down to read the sign. "I think your mom might kill you." But he didn't sound discouraging. Just... all the more bemused. "I think she'd walk you, not the other way around."

[make_it_hurt]

Bucky looked up at Steve. "I think I'd be okay with her walking me. Do you think anybody would fuck with me? It'd be like walking a bear on a leash, I wouldn't need you anymore."

He looked around for one of the workers or a volunteer or something, but didn't want to leave the puppy alone - she was smushed up against the front of the kennel whining, obviously just as much in love with Bucky as Bucky was in love with her. "She might just be all fluff."

Bucky stood after another few moments of petting the puppy. "I need her, Steve."

He finally caught sight of one of the workers and grabbed the chart off the door, jogging over. "Hey, can I get this dog out, I really want to adopt her."

The volunteer looked up, stared Bucky in the face for a moment, glanced over at Steve, then back. "Yeah, come with me, we can get the paperwork going."

Bucky started to be led away then turned, grin wide enough to hurt. "Come on, Steve!"

[punched_hitler]

"Okay, point," Steve had to observe. If Bucky were walking down the street with that monster (who was acting like Bucky was her new best friend, already), it might just give someone pause, all fluff or not.

And practically before he knew what was happening, Bucky was already sprinting toward one of the staff members, saying he wanted to adopt the dog. Steve couldn't help but grin, a little - Bucky looked happier than he had since Steve had met him, and he was going to use that to his advantage to keep the president from court marshaling him, when they got back. Because he had a feeling he'dbe the one in trouble. But somehow, it seemed pretty worth it, just at the moment. He'd never been happier, even at the idea of being "replaced" (though he was sure the president wasn't going to dismiss him just because Bucky had brought home a monster of a dog).

He followed at a more sedate pace when Bucky called for him, sticking his hands in his pockets and unable to keep from smiling, still. "You're gonna need a name. And a leash. I hope there's room in your backseat for her. She can't sit on your lap, pal."

[make_it_hurt]

Bucky grinned. "I'll figure something out." He followed the worker out of the kennel area and to the front desk, where he was handed a clipboard full of forms in exchange for the information from the door.

"Fill these all out and I'll go get her ready to go."

Bucky nodded and tucked the clipboard under his right arm, took a pen, and retreated to one of the couches in the lobby area, no doubt put there for just this reason. "I'm gonna need a bigger car." He got to work on the forms, balancing the clipboard on his knees as he started to write.

"I'm not stuck with the name I choose now, though. I can always name her something later. And we'll have to go to the pet store, get her everything she needs. She should fit in the cart, we'll just have to have two."

[punched_hitler]

"You do that," Steve said, coming over to sit down beside Bucky, in case he needed help balancing the clipboard, though he seemed to be doing just fine on his own.

"Okay. Adoption first, name later," Steve agreed. "And a stop at the pet store on the way back gives me time to come up with a convincing speech for your mom, before she boxes my ears over this and not yours. I'm supposed to be in charge, you know."

He smiled and tilted his head - it was clear he didn't mind what Bucky was doing at all.

[make_it_hurt]

Bucky bit his lip then said, "I don't want you getting blamed for this, Steve... It was my idea. I'll tell her that." He didn't want Steve to get in trouble and possibly have to leave because of this.

He finished filling out the form and stared down at the empty "name" line. Finally he wrote 'Rose' and stood, crossing to the counter. "Here..." He pulled out his wallet, opening it to pay the adoption fee.

He could see the puppy behind the counter, looking around, her tail curled over her back. When she caught sight of Bucky her tail started to wag.

Bucky took all the information handed to him in a bag, including all the samples of dog food and treats, as well as a little stuffed toy for her. "Great, thanks." He tucked his wallet back into his pocket, grabbed the bag and turned to Steve. "Ready to go?" The worker was coming through a side door with the puppy and Bucky crouched, taking the leash and managing to scratch her behind the ears and not get knocked over all at the same time.

[punched_hitler]

Steve reached out, knuckling Bucky's right shoulder gently. "I'm kidding. It's fine. We're probably both going to get in trouble for this, but... I think it's worth it." His genuine smile should tell Bucky that. Maybe he wasn't being very professional, but... he'd like to think that over the course of the past few weeks, they'd sort of become friends. To say they were acquaintances just didn't seem to cover it. Definitely not with the way he was pleased to see Bucky so utterly happy.

And that dog - Rose, apparently - was just as happy. Her tail was seriously in danger of knocking someone over, and the staff member that handed over the leash quickly got out of the way of the flailing appendage. Steve nodded, pulling out the keys, then reaching over to scratch the puppy behind the ears, if she'd let him. "Next stop, pet store?"

[make_it_hurt]

[The puppy is actually a tibetan mastiff (idegaf anymore lol) so her tail would be up over her back]

The puppy looked up at Steve, instantly suspicious, but let Steve scratch her behind the ears.

Bucky stood and nodded. "Yeah." He looked up. "Thank you." He started to back up, hoping she would follow. She did, bounding happily at Bucky's side. She insisted on sniffing the car thoroughly before clambering into the backseat and Bucky got in as well.

She was almost instantly trying to climb into the front seat with him, whining loudly. "No, you have to stay back there!" Bucky buckled himself in and turned, trying to push her back. "She's definitely going to need obedience lessons. And a stronger leash."

[punched_hitler]

[WHOOPS shows what I know about dogs. /o\ NOTED FOR FUTURE REFERENCE o7]

Steve just moved slow, trying to show the puppy that he didn't mean her any harm. Hopefully, given that he was supposed to be sticking to Bucky like glue she'd at least tolerate him, if not like him.

He followed the two out the door of the shelter, smiling to himself at the sight. They waited while the dog made a thorough check of the car (smart dog) before the excitement began.

Steve figured he'd wait until everybody was settled - and likely to stay here - before he thought about starting the car. "I'll say. Well, obedience lessons'll give you both something to do," he grinned. "Although if you think she's gonna be persistent, you can sit in the back on the way to the pet store."

[make_it_hurt]

Bucky hummed and nodded, but the puppy seemed content to stay in the backseat. "I might have to..." But they were setting off, then, and if she whined, at least she didn't try to get into Bucky's lap again.

After a few minutes of driving, Bucky dug in his wallet again and came up with a list, written on a piece of paper. "I made a list of everything she'll need." He had been prepared. He didn't want to forget anything, since it was a huge thing for him to go anywhere. Even before he'd been kidnapped it had been.

The drive to the pet store was short and Bucky hopped out almost immediately after they parked, going around to get the puppy out.

She was pulling on the leash instantly, trying to check out everything around her.

"C'mon, girl, let's get inside and get you some stuff."

[punched_hitler]

Steve did wait another few minutes, but since the puppy finally seemed, if not content with the backseat, at least likely to stay there, he got them moving in the direction of the nearest pet store once Bucky had punched in the address.

Of course, it was impossible to miss the way Bucky pulled out a list from his wallet, making Steve's lips curl up into a smile once more. "How long have you been planning this?"

Clearly long enough; when they got there, he let the two of them get ahead of him, though he was still keeping a sharp eye out for anything that seemed amiss. It wouldn't do to get soft, just because Bucky was having a good time and Steve was a mused, so even if he had a congenial smile on his face, he was still checking out every corner of the pet store with a quick look as they stepped inside. He was never more than a few feet from Bucky, even though he tried not to crowd him or his new dog. "Should I get a cart? She's probably going to need a lot of food."

[make_it_hurt]

Bucky nodded. She was already trying to drag him away, towards a startled-looking greyhound. He was mentally adding a harness to the list even as he tried to pull her back. He took the cart from Steve and started to push, heading for the collars and leashes first.

Once she was more than a few feet away from the other dog, she relaxed, looking around curiously. "Let's get her some stuff."

Picking up a likely-looking harness, the leash handle around his wrist, Bucky turned to look at Steve. "If you see any press, let me know but don't... tell them to leave." He wanted himself and the puppy to make the news. His mother wouldn't be able to tell him no after that.

[punched_hitler]

Steve let Bucky do the looking - at the supplies for the dog, at least. He was just keeping a lookout throughout the store, now looking for press in addition to threats. After all, Bucky was the son of the president. He had no doubt there was someone in the press tracking his moves, even something like the innocent trip they were making today. Although at Bucky's words, he had to laugh a little, catching the meaning behind them. "I'm surprised you didn't call them yourself... or did you?"

[make_it_hurt]

"No phone, remember?" Bucky made his way through the aisles, the puppy pulling occasionally. The cart started to fill up with bowls, leashes, toys, potty training pads, everything Bucky could conceivably think of.

At the food aisle, though, Bucky's list seemed to fail him. He frowned, looking up and down at all the bags of food. "They don't have the brand I picked out..." He bit his bottom lip, "They were supposed to."

The puppy flopped on the floor at Bucky's feet with a groan, apparently already tired of walking.

Bucky glanced to his side to see a young woman standing at the end of the aisle, her attention more on Bucky than on the dog food in front of her, her phone cradled pretty obviously in her hand, the back where the camera was pointing right at Bucky.

He hummed and reached up for a likely looking bag of food and started to read off of the back. "Large breed puppy, probably, but what brand?" It was directed at Steve but he expected no response, trying to act casual with the camera pointing at him even though it made the hairs on the back of his neck stand on end and his shoulders go stiff. He didn't like the attention, but knew it was necessary if he wanted to keep the puppy. Even a couple of photos like this posted to twitter would get fame almost instantly, especially if the woman was part of the press.

[punched_hitler]

"I wouldn't actually expect that to stop you," Steve pointed out, but he was teasing, smiling, as he followed Bucky through the aisles. Bucky was like a man on a mission - a very well-prepared man on a mission, which bespoke the amount of time Bucky had been planning this little stunt. Well, good on him. It was certainly doing him good, of that Steve was sure.

Though when Bucky paused and frowned, Steve did too, a little. There were... a lot of brands of dog food. "Isn't it all pretty similar?" He was admittedly out of his element, he'd never owned a pet. "I'm sure - "

It was about then that he noticed the young woman at the end of the aisle, just a split second before Bucky did. But she didn't approach them - no, she was holding her cell phone in that way that Steve had learned that meant she was taking pictures with it. He tensed, but Bucky had said not to stop the press... that supposedly meant people snooping, too, although he could tell that while Bucky was trying to act casually, he was bothered.

Steve stepped up beside Bucky, looking as though he was reading the back of the bag, too, though he said, quietly, "I can ask her to stop if it's really bothering you."

[make_it_hurt]

Bucky froze when Steve stepped up next to him, then closed his eyes. He breathed out and shook his head a fraction of an inch to either side. "No, it's fine. Let's just get home." He looked over at Steve, "Would you grab the big bag? We need a kennel and a dog bed and then we can go."

His hand shook as he put the small back and put his back to the woman. He didn't want to look like he was about to collapse, which he certainly felt like doing.

The puppy got up, as if sensing Bucky's emotions and put her head on his knee with a whine.

Despite all that was happening right now, she was a huge comfort and for that, Bucky was undeniably happy and relieved that his research had been right. She was able to distract him and could tell when his emotions were getting to him, the memories of eyes on him, cameras capturing painful or humiliating moments, becoming too much.

Once the biggest bag of puppy food was in the bottom of the cart, Bucky turned the cart, pushing off determinedly for the kennels and dog beds.

[punched_hitler]

Steve felt a little bad, seeing - and feeling - Bucky tense up even more as he stepped close. He tried to give him some space, but he also wanted to stay close, to be as reassuring as he could.

He nodded, grabbing the biggest bag the place had and setting it in the cart before Bucky started off to find the last supplies they'd need. He was doing just fine, steering the cart one-handed, but Steve moved to put one hand on the side of the cart, nonetheless, just to stay close. The woman had definitely snapped a few pictures of their retreating backs, he was sure. "It probably won't take long for those to go up," he murmured, as they finally found the right aisle and he let Bucky get to work, finding what he wanted for the puppy. "But I'm betting you were kind of counting on that. You want your mom to see them, right?"

[make_it_hurt]

Bucky nodded. "Yeah. I'm sure they're on twitter. They'll be trending soon." He swallowed hard and kept his eyes forward and not glancing out the windows to his right. He was almost afraid of what he would see out there.

Luckily, they had both the kennel brand and the bed Bucky had picked out and both were loaded in below the cart. "Let's get out of here," he said, turning for the checkouts.

They checked out easily enough, Bucky taking the very long receipt and jammed it into his pocket along with his wallet. He was pale and shaking harder than ever.

Would he ever be able to be out in public without almost having a panic attack the first time his photo started being taken? If not, he might as well just never leave the house again. His mother was the president and he had just spent eight months a prisoner, he likely would never be able to avoid the cameras completely.

[punched_hitler]

"Right." Thankfully, by now, Steve knew what that meant - and knew that Bucky had sort of meant for it to happen. What he was sure Bucky hadn't meant to happen was the panic attack Steve could see brewing a mile away; he stayed close, the rest of the trip, and when Bucky had paid for the dog supplies, he put a hand gently at the small of Bucky's back. He didn't know if the other would want to be touched, but he hoped it would at least be reassuring. "Come on. Let's get to the car. You're fine. I won't let anything happen to you. Remember that." He glanced down at the puppy. "Rose is on your side, too."

And with that, he did his best to usher Bucky and Rose out to the car, opening the door for Bucky and trying to get him to sit inside, where he could hopefully relax, while Steve piled the supplies in the trunk.