Closed RP with [Punched-Hitler]

[make_it_hurt]

He woke up slowly. It was an unusual feeling, to wake to nothing more than his body's own sleep cycle, instead of being woken up by harsh hands and pain. He honestly hadn't been expecting to wake up, sure that he was dead, sure that the bullet they had put in his chest should have killed him.

Instead, Bucky Barnes woke up in a hospital bed, oxygen line hooked over his ears, the steady beeping and whirring of machinery all around him. Everything hurt - his broken ankle, the bruises on his legs from beatings, the lash marks over his back. It is nearly torture to breathe, his chest wrapped tightly in bandages. This wasn't the dark, dank cellar he had spent (as close as he could figure ) six or seven months in. He looked around, head tilting from side to side listlessly, looking for family or a nurse or something.

His attention was caught by his left arm - or, rather, what was left of it, which wasn't much.

Days into his capture they'd started cutting off his fingers, one at a time, and sending him to his mother - to the President - in an attempt to get her to give in to their demands.

Then they'd started working their way up his arm, more as punishment than anything, before infection had set in and they had kept cutting back and back and back in an attempt to keep their bargaining chip from dying.

The stump of his left arm was wrapped in neat cotton bandages and Bucky swallowed hard, lifting his other hand to his lips, feeling them quiver against his fingers.

He finally asked, voice trembling, "Mom?"

She had to be here. She had been there for him his entire life growing up, there every time he got sick, even when she was on the election trail. If she couldn't get to him, they would talk over the internet for as long as it took until he fell asleep.

Bucky looked around, digging his ragged nails into his lower lip. "Mom?" He shifted, trying to sit up, and was instantly caught by the mess of wires and tubing around him. He laid back, blinking back tears.

She came almost at a run, heels clacking, the door swinging shut behind her. "Bucky!" She nearly collapsed onto Bucky's bed, grabbing his hand in both of her own. "You're awake, thank god." She reached forward and ran her fingers through his hair and he was suddenly aware that it was long enough to touch his chin.

He smiled up at her, feeling the knot in his chest ease. Bucky sagged back against his pillows and sighed slightly, letting her rub her thumb over the back of his hand. "I missed you, Mom."

"I missed you, too. Here, are you comfortable? Do you need another pillow?" She let go of his hand and started to fuss with his blankets and pillows, adjusting them around him nervously.

"I'm fine. Tired, but fine." He closed his eyes for a long moment then asked, opening them again, "I'm really here, right?"

She nodded. "You're really here, Bucky." She folded her hand over his. "Get some rest, I'll be right here, okay?" She smiled and watched Bucky drift off again, body falling limp. But it wasn't the same sort of boneless as before, the unconsciousness after being brought in, after all the surgeries. It was the unconsciousness of somebody asleep of their own volition.

She looked up once she was sure Bucky was asleep and stood back up, placing his hand on his stomach. President Barnes crossed back over to the door and pulled it open. "I'm sorry, Captain. Maybe you should come in and we can continue our discussion?" She stepped back.

Bucky drifted awake for just a moment, long enough to see his mother across the room talking to somebody that looked vaguely familiar. Before Bucky could place the face, he was asleep again.

Comments

[punched_hitler]

Steve reached out, knuckling Bucky's right shoulder gently. "I'm kidding. It's fine. We're probably both going to get in trouble for this, but... I think it's worth it." His genuine smile should tell Bucky that. Maybe he wasn't being very professional, but... he'd like to think that over the course of the past few weeks, they'd sort of become friends. To say they were acquaintances just didn't seem to cover it. Definitely not with the way he was pleased to see Bucky so utterly happy.

And that dog - Rose, apparently - was just as happy. Her tail was seriously in danger of knocking someone over, and the staff member that handed over the leash quickly got out of the way of the flailing appendage. Steve nodded, pulling out the keys, then reaching over to scratch the puppy behind the ears, if she'd let him. "Next stop, pet store?"

[make_it_hurt]

[The puppy is actually a tibetan mastiff (idegaf anymore lol) so her tail would be up over her back]

The puppy looked up at Steve, instantly suspicious, but let Steve scratch her behind the ears.

Bucky stood and nodded. "Yeah." He looked up. "Thank you." He started to back up, hoping she would follow. She did, bounding happily at Bucky's side. She insisted on sniffing the car thoroughly before clambering into the backseat and Bucky got in as well.

She was almost instantly trying to climb into the front seat with him, whining loudly. "No, you have to stay back there!" Bucky buckled himself in and turned, trying to push her back. "She's definitely going to need obedience lessons. And a stronger leash."

[punched_hitler]

[WHOOPS shows what I know about dogs. /o\ NOTED FOR FUTURE REFERENCE o7]

Steve just moved slow, trying to show the puppy that he didn't mean her any harm. Hopefully, given that he was supposed to be sticking to Bucky like glue she'd at least tolerate him, if not like him.

He followed the two out the door of the shelter, smiling to himself at the sight. They waited while the dog made a thorough check of the car (smart dog) before the excitement began.

Steve figured he'd wait until everybody was settled - and likely to stay here - before he thought about starting the car. "I'll say. Well, obedience lessons'll give you both something to do," he grinned. "Although if you think she's gonna be persistent, you can sit in the back on the way to the pet store."

[make_it_hurt]

Bucky hummed and nodded, but the puppy seemed content to stay in the backseat. "I might have to..." But they were setting off, then, and if she whined, at least she didn't try to get into Bucky's lap again.

After a few minutes of driving, Bucky dug in his wallet again and came up with a list, written on a piece of paper. "I made a list of everything she'll need." He had been prepared. He didn't want to forget anything, since it was a huge thing for him to go anywhere. Even before he'd been kidnapped it had been.

The drive to the pet store was short and Bucky hopped out almost immediately after they parked, going around to get the puppy out.

She was pulling on the leash instantly, trying to check out everything around her.

"C'mon, girl, let's get inside and get you some stuff."

[punched_hitler]

Steve did wait another few minutes, but since the puppy finally seemed, if not content with the backseat, at least likely to stay there, he got them moving in the direction of the nearest pet store once Bucky had punched in the address.

Of course, it was impossible to miss the way Bucky pulled out a list from his wallet, making Steve's lips curl up into a smile once more. "How long have you been planning this?"

Clearly long enough; when they got there, he let the two of them get ahead of him, though he was still keeping a sharp eye out for anything that seemed amiss. It wouldn't do to get soft, just because Bucky was having a good time and Steve was a mused, so even if he had a congenial smile on his face, he was still checking out every corner of the pet store with a quick look as they stepped inside. He was never more than a few feet from Bucky, even though he tried not to crowd him or his new dog. "Should I get a cart? She's probably going to need a lot of food."

[make_it_hurt]

Bucky nodded. She was already trying to drag him away, towards a startled-looking greyhound. He was mentally adding a harness to the list even as he tried to pull her back. He took the cart from Steve and started to push, heading for the collars and leashes first.

Once she was more than a few feet away from the other dog, she relaxed, looking around curiously. "Let's get her some stuff."

Picking up a likely-looking harness, the leash handle around his wrist, Bucky turned to look at Steve. "If you see any press, let me know but don't... tell them to leave." He wanted himself and the puppy to make the news. His mother wouldn't be able to tell him no after that.

[punched_hitler]

Steve let Bucky do the looking - at the supplies for the dog, at least. He was just keeping a lookout throughout the store, now looking for press in addition to threats. After all, Bucky was the son of the president. He had no doubt there was someone in the press tracking his moves, even something like the innocent trip they were making today. Although at Bucky's words, he had to laugh a little, catching the meaning behind them. "I'm surprised you didn't call them yourself... or did you?"

[make_it_hurt]

"No phone, remember?" Bucky made his way through the aisles, the puppy pulling occasionally. The cart started to fill up with bowls, leashes, toys, potty training pads, everything Bucky could conceivably think of.

At the food aisle, though, Bucky's list seemed to fail him. He frowned, looking up and down at all the bags of food. "They don't have the brand I picked out..." He bit his bottom lip, "They were supposed to."

The puppy flopped on the floor at Bucky's feet with a groan, apparently already tired of walking.

Bucky glanced to his side to see a young woman standing at the end of the aisle, her attention more on Bucky than on the dog food in front of her, her phone cradled pretty obviously in her hand, the back where the camera was pointing right at Bucky.

He hummed and reached up for a likely looking bag of food and started to read off of the back. "Large breed puppy, probably, but what brand?" It was directed at Steve but he expected no response, trying to act casual with the camera pointing at him even though it made the hairs on the back of his neck stand on end and his shoulders go stiff. He didn't like the attention, but knew it was necessary if he wanted to keep the puppy. Even a couple of photos like this posted to twitter would get fame almost instantly, especially if the woman was part of the press.

[punched_hitler]

"I wouldn't actually expect that to stop you," Steve pointed out, but he was teasing, smiling, as he followed Bucky through the aisles. Bucky was like a man on a mission - a very well-prepared man on a mission, which bespoke the amount of time Bucky had been planning this little stunt. Well, good on him. It was certainly doing him good, of that Steve was sure.

Though when Bucky paused and frowned, Steve did too, a little. There were... a lot of brands of dog food. "Isn't it all pretty similar?" He was admittedly out of his element, he'd never owned a pet. "I'm sure - "

It was about then that he noticed the young woman at the end of the aisle, just a split second before Bucky did. But she didn't approach them - no, she was holding her cell phone in that way that Steve had learned that meant she was taking pictures with it. He tensed, but Bucky had said not to stop the press... that supposedly meant people snooping, too, although he could tell that while Bucky was trying to act casually, he was bothered.

Steve stepped up beside Bucky, looking as though he was reading the back of the bag, too, though he said, quietly, "I can ask her to stop if it's really bothering you."

[make_it_hurt]

Bucky froze when Steve stepped up next to him, then closed his eyes. He breathed out and shook his head a fraction of an inch to either side. "No, it's fine. Let's just get home." He looked over at Steve, "Would you grab the big bag? We need a kennel and a dog bed and then we can go."

His hand shook as he put the small back and put his back to the woman. He didn't want to look like he was about to collapse, which he certainly felt like doing.

The puppy got up, as if sensing Bucky's emotions and put her head on his knee with a whine.

Despite all that was happening right now, she was a huge comfort and for that, Bucky was undeniably happy and relieved that his research had been right. She was able to distract him and could tell when his emotions were getting to him, the memories of eyes on him, cameras capturing painful or humiliating moments, becoming too much.

Once the biggest bag of puppy food was in the bottom of the cart, Bucky turned the cart, pushing off determinedly for the kennels and dog beds.

[punched_hitler]

Steve felt a little bad, seeing - and feeling - Bucky tense up even more as he stepped close. He tried to give him some space, but he also wanted to stay close, to be as reassuring as he could.

He nodded, grabbing the biggest bag the place had and setting it in the cart before Bucky started off to find the last supplies they'd need. He was doing just fine, steering the cart one-handed, but Steve moved to put one hand on the side of the cart, nonetheless, just to stay close. The woman had definitely snapped a few pictures of their retreating backs, he was sure. "It probably won't take long for those to go up," he murmured, as they finally found the right aisle and he let Bucky get to work, finding what he wanted for the puppy. "But I'm betting you were kind of counting on that. You want your mom to see them, right?"

[make_it_hurt]

Bucky nodded. "Yeah. I'm sure they're on twitter. They'll be trending soon." He swallowed hard and kept his eyes forward and not glancing out the windows to his right. He was almost afraid of what he would see out there.

Luckily, they had both the kennel brand and the bed Bucky had picked out and both were loaded in below the cart. "Let's get out of here," he said, turning for the checkouts.

They checked out easily enough, Bucky taking the very long receipt and jammed it into his pocket along with his wallet. He was pale and shaking harder than ever.

Would he ever be able to be out in public without almost having a panic attack the first time his photo started being taken? If not, he might as well just never leave the house again. His mother was the president and he had just spent eight months a prisoner, he likely would never be able to avoid the cameras completely.

[punched_hitler]

"Right." Thankfully, by now, Steve knew what that meant - and knew that Bucky had sort of meant for it to happen. What he was sure Bucky hadn't meant to happen was the panic attack Steve could see brewing a mile away; he stayed close, the rest of the trip, and when Bucky had paid for the dog supplies, he put a hand gently at the small of Bucky's back. He didn't know if the other would want to be touched, but he hoped it would at least be reassuring. "Come on. Let's get to the car. You're fine. I won't let anything happen to you. Remember that." He glanced down at the puppy. "Rose is on your side, too."

And with that, he did his best to usher Bucky and Rose out to the car, opening the door for Bucky and trying to get him to sit inside, where he could hopefully relax, while Steve piled the supplies in the trunk.

[make_it_hurt]

Bucky relaxed when Steve's hand found the small of his back and could barely care about how affectionate the sight might be, how much the rumor mill would start to churn again. All he really cared about was that Steve was warm and familiar and wasn't asking anything of him right at the moment.

He clambered into the back seat with the puppy, wrapping his arms around her neck tightly, burying his face in her thick scruff of fur.

The woman who had been taking pictures approached the car, phone held out in front of her. "Captain Rogers, can you give me any information on Bucky's state? We haven't seen much of him at all. How is he handling the loss of his arm? Has he seen the photos his kidnappers released? Have you?"

Her phone was obviously videotaping the conversation, the camera fixed on Bucky huddled in the car even while she interrogated Steve.

Bucky could hear her but didn't dare turn. Didn't dare let her get his pale, teary face on film. He decided to let Steve handle the woman, knowing if he tried to confront her he would probably have a panic attack on the spot.

[punched_hitler]

Steve, fortunately or unfortunately, wasn't really thinking about how standing so close to Bucky or touching him would look to anyone who might be taking pictures at the moment. All he was concerned about was keeping him upright, sane, and safe. Nothing else really mattered.

He was glad Bucky was already safe in the car by the time he closed the trunk, looking up to see that the woman had followed them. She must be press then; he took one look at her camera and, whether Bucky wanted publicity or not, decided he'd had enough. He stepped right in front of the phone, his considerable bulk blocking the view through the window, no matter how the woman might turn. "He's doing well." As well as could be expected, honestly, but he didn't think it was really any of the press' business. They might want gory details, but it wasn't his job to give them. "But he still gets tired easily, as you can see, so if you don't mind, I think we'll be going."

Not that he was going to wait around for an answer. Nor was he going to say anything about photos from kidnappers, because that was opening a can of worms he knew neither of them wanted to deal with. He just hoped the woman would accept the explanation of getting tired easily as the reason Bucky was so pale. He slid into the driver's seat, took long enough to make sure the woman wasn't going to get clipped when he backed the car out of the parking spot, and got them moving as quickly as he could.

"Hey," he said quietly, pitching his voice so Bucky could hear from the backseat. "We'll be home in a couple of minutes. Just take it easy, okay? You did great."

[make_it_hurt]

The woman watched the car drive away, before finally turning off the camera. She had taken a few more photos, definitely ones that would be in the paper and not just on Twitter.

Bucky sagged in relief when they started to move and lifted his head, though he didn't pull away from the puppy. He decided it didn't matter what that woman had wanted, what information she had tried to get out of Steve.

Instead he said, "I think I'm going to name her Penny." Then Bucky hesitated. "Unless you think it's too much like Peggy. I don't want to... make it confusing, I guess."

[punched_hitler]

Steve just drove - he actually was planning on taking the long way back, just to let Bucky have a little time to himself, someplace safe, where he couldn't possibly be assaulted or even approached by other people. He let silence fall until Bucky spoke up - then he glanced in the mirror at the two in the backseat, humming a little.

"Hm? No, Penny's a fine name. You name her whatever you like." He smiled, supportively, hoping Bucky could catch it in the mirror. He hadn't been to see Peggy in weeks - he'd been busy guarding Bucky, after all. That was a full time job. Maybe... he should see if he could get away, though. Just for an hour or two. Hell, maybe he could bring Bucky with, though he doubted Bucky would want to sit in the hallway of a nursing home while Steve visited one of the residents. "I guess once you choose a name, you just have to use it consistently, and she'll figure out it's hers, pretty quick. Then you can get her some tags."

[make_it_hurt]

Bucky nodded and scritched behind Penny's ears. She slumped down in the seat, apparently relieved that Bucky had managed to relax and rested her head on his thigh. "Should make her a vet appointment, too." That was something he didn't want to do. But he would have to. Penny would need a vet, need vaccinations and stuff.

He was fine with taking the long way home, but by the time they pulled up, Bucky was breathing more deeply, trying to keep himself calm. He got out of the car, catching Penny's leash to keep her from tearing away.

Bucky's other two guards, the ones that had been left here for the expedition were waiting. One was immediately approaching. "Sir, the President wants to speak to you."

Bucky swallowed hard against the lump in his throat and nodded. "Alright. Would you have somebody take the bags to my room?" He gestured kind of towards the trunk.

It was time to face the music.

[punched_hitler]

Steve nodded, making a mental note - they could take care of that later, sure, but it would still be a good idea to get it done as soon as they had the chance.

He was glad to see (and hear) that Bucky was looking and breathing better by the time they returned to the White House. Of course, as soon as they got back, it was obvious the president already knew - not that Steve was overly surprised. He tossed one of the guards a sheepish smile, shrugged a little, and then handed over the keys so they could get the pet supplies. Then he stepped up behind Bucky, touching his shoulder. "I'm coming with you." As if it wasn't already obvious, but he wanted Bucky to know that he'd support the decision, even if the president wasn't happy about it. "I'm sure Penny will win your mom's heart in a minute."

[make_it_hurt]

Bucky nodded and started to walk. Penny followed along, bumping against Bucky's leg as they went.

Finally they entered his mother's office. She was sitting behind the desk, focused on the TV on the wall, paused on a screen of a TV program showing one of the photos the woman had taken in the dog food aisle.

Bucky hadn't seen himself much since he'd been kidnapped, hated looking at his body whether he was clothed or not.

He looked like a drug addict. Thin, pale, eyes sunken into his skull. His hair was a mess, his clothes too big for his frame. He swallowed and turned his face away. He looked at his mother, which might have been a mistake.

She stood and turned off the TV. "You went out and got a dog then got spotted by the press on purpose, didn't you? So I couldn't take it away."

Bucky nodded, petting Penny. "Yeah, Mom, I... There's a lot of research being done. The effect of pets, dogs, on... trauma survivors. I swear she's helping already. I almost had a panic attack and she calmed me down. Please don't be mad." He bowed his head and clung to the leash, hoping she wouldn't make him take Penny back.

Instead, she approached and crouched down, putting herself on the puppy's level. "You could have asked me, Bucky."

"I knew you wouldn't let me."

She sighed and scratched Penny under the chin then stood, wrapping her arms around Bucky's shoulders. "You can keep her. I was going to look into getting you a therapy dog, but it seems you did it yourself. But obedience lessons. And you'll be taking her to go to the bathroom and for walks. Not anybody else."

Bucky nodded and smiled weakly. "Thanks, Mom."

"You're welcome. Now, if you would give me a few moments alone with Captain Rogers..."

Nodding again, Bucky headed for the door and waited outside. He sank down onto the floor and curled his arms around Penny's neck, clinging to her.

[punched_hitler]

Steve followed Bucky into the president's office, then hung back by the door. Oh, it wasn't that he didn't support Bucky, but he sort of figured this was something he shouldn't get in the middle of until or unless Bucky needed him. And Bucky seemed to be doing just fine on his own, telling his mother how he'd researched the idea, how he thought it would help. Honestly Steve was pretty proud of him, and he didn't want to step in on that, either.

He couldn't help but smile, though, when the president agreed to the dog, so long as Bucky trained her. He didn't think that would be a problem - in fact, he figured they might be inseparable. That could be a good thing.

Although he wasn't sure it was a good thing when the president mentioned she wanted to talk to him. Alone. Not that he wouldn't defend Bucky's choice. He gave Bucky's arm a pat as he and Penny passed, then stepped a little more into the office as the door closed behind Bucky. "Ma'am," he started. "I know I should have run it by you first, but I really thought it would do him some good. She'll do him some good."

[make_it_hurt]

She sighed and waited until the door shut to turn back on the tv. "Things like this? I don't care what Bucky says, I don't want it happening. He might think he looks okay, but we both know he's panicking here. What Bucky doesn't need is a panic attack making it on international news. You see press, you send them away, understand?"

The President leaned back against her desk then turned and reached for a file folder. Once Steve responded, she opened the folder and passed it to Steve. The folder was thick with pictures. Of Bucky. Bucky crouched on the floor, blindfolded, obviously just hours after being kidnapped. The one behind that was Bucky shirtless, covered in bruises and cuts, barefoot.

It went on and on, Bucky getting more and more ragged, missing more fingers then more of his arm, until the photos became Bucky curled up on a concrete floor, naked, unwashed and pale and scrawny, every bone visible. Still blindfolded, his right ankle obviously snapped, legs streaked with blood and worse.

"Once a week I got a photo of him. The first few came with fingers. Sometimes they also sent videos." She let out a shuddering breath. "Some of them were also sent to the press. The worst of them. None of the videos, thank god. But if these or those were to get out. It would destroy Bucky. I know my son, Captain, and he couldn't survive that a second time. Do whatever you have to do to keep him from seeing this. If it means getting violent with some members of the press... So be it."

[punched_hitler]

Steve had seen a lot, in the Army. And he'd seen a lot in the history books - the things he'd missed, those camps they'd found in Europe, and plenty of other atrocities since.

Still, nothing quite hit home like seeing that file and all the pictures in it. Oh, he'd been briefed, he knew what had happened to Bucky, and he'd obviously seen the end result. But he hadn't seen it happen. Not like this. And he felt more and more sick to his stomach, angry, as the pictures kept coming.

He glanced up at the president, clearly a mix of concerned, angry, and determined, when she told him that Bucky couldn't handle this again. When she told him that if he had to get violent, then he had leave to do so. He wasn't stupid - he knew that if he got violent with any press, it'd be his reputation on the line, of course, and not the president's. But... he was here to serve the president. And Bucky. His reputation didn't matter. "Yes, ma'am," he said, and he meant it. He didn't relish the idea. But he meant it.

He paused. "But I can't - shouldn't - stop him from going out in public. Hiding him away isn't going to help, either. I know you know that."

[make_it_hurt]

She nodded. "I know. Just... keep him safe. If it starts getting to the point with the press where it isn't okay for him to go out in public, I'll talk with him." She took the folder back from Steve and flipped back to the first photo. She stared at it for several moments then closed the folder and set it behind her on the desk. Then she stood. "That's all I had to discuss with you, Steve, thank you."

She sat behind her desk again and started tapping away at her laptop, face unreadable.

[punched_hitler]

"I will. I promise." Bucky was quickly becoming more than a mission, to Steve. He was becoming someone he truly wanted to protect, to befriend. And he would do what it took to see that he was safe.

He watched the president for a moment more, but she was clearly done. He couldn't tell what she was thinking, either. He saluted, whether she was paying attention to him or not, and headed out of the office, closing the door carefully behind him and looking around to see if Bucky was out here, of if he'd have to track him down.