make_it_hurt: (Default)
[personal profile] make_it_hurt
He woke up slowly. It was an unusual feeling, to wake to nothing more than his body's own sleep cycle, instead of being woken up by harsh hands and pain. He honestly hadn't been expecting to wake up, sure that he was dead, sure that the bullet they had put in his chest should have killed him.

Instead, Bucky Barnes woke up in a hospital bed, oxygen line hooked over his ears, the steady beeping and whirring of machinery all around him. Everything hurt - his broken ankle, the bruises on his legs from beatings, the lash marks over his back. It is nearly torture to breathe, his chest wrapped tightly in bandages. This wasn't the dark, dank cellar he had spent (as close as he could figure ) six or seven months in. He looked around, head tilting from side to side listlessly, looking for family or a nurse or something.

His attention was caught by his left arm - or, rather, what was left of it, which wasn't much.

Days into his capture they'd started cutting off his fingers, one at a time, and sending him to his mother - to the President - in an attempt to get her to give in to their demands.

Then they'd started working their way up his arm, more as punishment than anything, before infection had set in and they had kept cutting back and back and back in an attempt to keep their bargaining chip from dying.

The stump of his left arm was wrapped in neat cotton bandages and Bucky swallowed hard, lifting his other hand to his lips, feeling them quiver against his fingers.

He finally asked, voice trembling, "Mom?"

She had to be here. She had been there for him his entire life growing up, there every time he got sick, even when she was on the election trail. If she couldn't get to him, they would talk over the internet for as long as it took until he fell asleep.

Bucky looked around, digging his ragged nails into his lower lip. "Mom?" He shifted, trying to sit up, and was instantly caught by the mess of wires and tubing around him. He laid back, blinking back tears.

She came almost at a run, heels clacking, the door swinging shut behind her. "Bucky!" She nearly collapsed onto Bucky's bed, grabbing his hand in both of her own. "You're awake, thank god." She reached forward and ran her fingers through his hair and he was suddenly aware that it was long enough to touch his chin.

He smiled up at her, feeling the knot in his chest ease. Bucky sagged back against his pillows and sighed slightly, letting her rub her thumb over the back of his hand. "I missed you, Mom."

"I missed you, too. Here, are you comfortable? Do you need another pillow?" She let go of his hand and started to fuss with his blankets and pillows, adjusting them around him nervously.

"I'm fine. Tired, but fine." He closed his eyes for a long moment then asked, opening them again, "I'm really here, right?"

She nodded. "You're really here, Bucky." She folded her hand over his. "Get some rest, I'll be right here, okay?" She smiled and watched Bucky drift off again, body falling limp. But it wasn't the same sort of boneless as before, the unconsciousness after being brought in, after all the surgeries. It was the unconsciousness of somebody asleep of their own volition.

She looked up once she was sure Bucky was asleep and stood back up, placing his hand on his stomach. President Barnes crossed back over to the door and pulled it open. "I'm sorry, Captain. Maybe you should come in and we can continue our discussion?" She stepped back.

Bucky drifted awake for just a moment, long enough to see his mother across the room talking to somebody that looked vaguely familiar. Before Bucky could place the face, he was asleep again.

Date: 2014-07-06 09:45 pm (UTC)
punched_hitler: [tfa] (let's hope it's good for something)
From: [personal profile] punched_hitler
Steve wasn't bothered by the blood - he'd take care of it in a bit. Although once Bucky had dozed off, he kept an eye on him, making sure he was still breathing all right before he finally picked up his phone and made that call, to get a doctor down here. He was very firm, though, that he'd meet them out in the hall with Bucky - and it was nothing to slide his other arm under Bucky's legs to pick him up and carry him into the hall to meet the doctor, when they arrived.

Date: 2014-07-09 08:00 pm (UTC)
punched_hitler: (Default)
From: [personal profile] punched_hitler
"Okay. We'll get you someplace else," Steve agreed, hefting Bucky a little so the scars on his legs weren't readily visible unless someone was looking closely. When the doctor said there was another room they could use, he looked relieved - and nodded. "Lead the way." He carried Bucky as he followed the doctor, Penny following obediently along. She was already a pretty great dog, of that, Steve was sure.

He set Bucky down just as carefully, then moved to the side to let the doctor work. He didn't know this guy - presumably he'd been cleared, but he'd keep an eye on him. Anyone could be anyone with the right connections.

Date: 2014-07-14 12:14 am (UTC)
punched_hitler: (Default)
From: [personal profile] punched_hitler
Steve just stood by, giving both doctor and patient some room - but he was close enough to grab, if Bucky needed something (someone) to hold onto. He was also close enough to grab Bucky, if he needed it.

He wasn't sure whether watching or not would be better - he knew Bucky didn't like those scars, so after a minute he opted to just keep his eyes on the room, making sure it stayed secure so that the doctor clean and bandage the cuts. Though he did try to catch Bucky's eye, to give him a look that said he wouldn't tell the president, either. Not unless it became absolutely necessary. And he hoped it never came to that.

Date: 2014-07-14 04:00 pm (UTC)
punched_hitler: [ta] (pic#7994996)
From: [personal profile] punched_hitler
Steve laughed a little, softly, happy to distract him while the doctor took care of things. "You might regret it," he teased, but if Bucky really wanted to meet Stark, he'd see what he could do. Even Stark had a heart somewhere under all that metal. He just needed to make sure Bucky was stable enough to handle him. "He's a handful." And then some.

He glanced down at the doctor, frowning a little in concern, but actually, he was glad that someone would get Bucky help if he needed it. He'd keep an eye on Bucky, too, but he didn't quite want to say so out loud - Bucky was an adult. He didn't need to be watched like a child. More like a friend. Not to mention an assignment. "Thank you, doctor. We'll take it easy for a couple of days." Maybe Bucky could concentrate on getting Penny settled, to take his mind off everything else.

Date: 2014-07-17 07:23 pm (UTC)
punched_hitler: [tws] (new suit & glance to the side)
From: [personal profile] punched_hitler
Steve's eyebrows rose a little at that - but not really in surprise, more in a way that said he was pleased to hear it. He'd never gone to college, it had never even been a possibility. Bucky had mentioned college applications before, but he'd never gone into overly much detail, and Steve hadn't asked. "Yeah? Well, you let me know when you feel up to it. I can be pretty persistent," he said with a smile. He was sure if he was annoying enough, Stark might give in.

And in the meantime, "We should go through your mail," he said, reaching out and nudging Bucky - carefully, very carefully. "You wouldn't want to miss something important like that."

Date: 2014-07-17 10:22 pm (UTC)
punched_hitler: [tws] (elevator music)
From: [personal profile] punched_hitler
Steve nodded, smiling a little more - although it did flicker a little when the doctor said how much he'd like Bucky to get help that wasn't just for his physical injuries. Steve wasn't as familiar with mental health care as someone born in this century, but he still knew they had come a long way from calling things "shellshock" and locking people up for having waking nightmares. If they could help Bucky... he wished Bucky would agree to it, even if he understood why he didn't want to ever relive that.

But if he just ignored it... was that really a better option?

Either way, Bucky was obviously ready to go. Steve moved closer, offering something steady if Bucky needed help getting back to his room. He was pretty sure Bucky could walk there, and he wanted to give him the chance if he could. "Thanks, Doc," he said with a smile, waiting until Bucky was ready to go to get the door.

Date: 2014-07-21 03:57 am (UTC)
punched_hitler: [tfa] (i got this)
From: [personal profile] punched_hitler
Steve followed, not only to give Bucky a little space, but to keep an eye out - he was still on the job, even if there hadn't been any incidents. He wanted to make sure there would be no incidents.

When they got back to Bucky's room and everything checked out, he closed the door, nodding. "Right." Of course, when he got to the drawer, he let out a little laugh as the thing barely opened. "It's stuffed," he said wryly, starting to pull out the envelopes, glancing up at Bucky with a little half-smile. "Want me to sort it, first? Then you can see what you've got to go through?"

Date: 2014-07-22 04:37 pm (UTC)
punched_hitler: [tfa] (reading the map)
From: [personal profile] punched_hitler
"Sure." Steve didn't mind lending a hand, he just didn't want to step on Bucky's toes - mail was supposed to be private, after all, even though he hoped Bucky knew he could trust Steve to keep quiet, if need be.

"Here," Steve said with a smile - okay, he didn't hand over quite half, more like a third, but Bucky would have to go through it with just the one arm, so he wanted to take it easy on him. Steve settled himself on the ground, leaning against the side of the bed (it just seemed the most natural) and started sorting: bank statements, official documents, information and letters from colleges, and anything that seemed personal. Everything got its own pile. "You're sure a popular guy," he teased gently; there was a lot of mail to go through, but Bucky had been gone a long time, too.

Date: 2014-07-23 08:33 pm (UTC)
punched_hitler: [tws] (new suit & glance to the side)
From: [personal profile] punched_hitler
"I'll be they do," Steve chuckled - if Bucky was able to joke about it, then that was a good thing. Besides, he hadn't exactly lived under a rock, the past two years. He knew how attractive the people of America found Bucky. And he had no doubt that, with time and rest and his confidence back, Bucky would be charming people all over again. He was still charming, in a strange sort of way, even like this. Steve would like to see it come out more often. It might mean he was getting better.

He couldn't help but watch, curiously, almost as nervous as Bucky might be, as Bucky started tearing through that one pile. He'd never gone to college, but it had been in Bucky's plan, and Steve wanted it to still be in Bucky's plan. He started gathering up the other piles, trying to give Bucky some pretense of privacy, but he was still pretty interested in what would turn up.

Date: 2014-07-26 10:33 pm (UTC)
punched_hitler: (Default)
From: [personal profile] punched_hitler
Steve wasn't about to argue that - but he wanted Bucky to be the one to confirm or deny it.

But he couldn't help it - when Bucky confirmed the good news, Steve reached out and squeezed his arm. Carefully. "Bucky... that's great. I mean it. Really great. You should be pretty damn proud of yourself, buddy." Honestly, just at the moment, it was kind of rewarding to live vicariously through Bucky as he tore through the rest of the information. Hell, Steve hadn't even known him all that long... but he had known him a while. And he was proud. "I hear Boston is a nice place, too."

Date: 2014-07-28 04:00 am (UTC)
punched_hitler: [ce] (happy (chris))
From: [personal profile] punched_hitler
Frankly, Steve hadn't actually seen Bucky excited about anything other than Penny since they'd met. And so he couldn't argue that this - this was an amazing turnaround, whether it lasted or not. And he looked just as relieved as he did proud - he even gave Bucky a careful (but genuine) one-armed hug, gently, making sure he felt congratulated rather than trapped.

Of course, he was curious the second Bucky pulled away, watching him root through that drawer. "Sure. What is it?" Bucky deserved his privacy, after all.
Edited Date: 2014-07-28 04:00 am (UTC)

Date: 2014-07-28 05:48 am (UTC)
punched_hitler: [tfa] (clasped hands & thoughts)
From: [personal profile] punched_hitler
Steve wasn't quite sure what he had been expecting - although, funny enough, he wasn't necessarily surprised. He'd never smoked - well, of course not, he'd had asthma, it might have killed him - and drugs didn't affect him now, tobacco or otherwise (and these looked to be otherwise).

So he managed to stop the slight frown - and just turn it into a slightly concerned look. "One condition, though," he said. "It won't interfere with anything you're taking, will it?" If Bucky was still on pain medication, he wanted to make sure nothing would interact. Growing up with a nurse for a mother, Steve knew that could be bad news.

Otherwise... well. Bucky was an adult. Steve would respect that. It was a celebration, after all. And he'd grown up in the 20s, 30s, and 40s. Everyone had smoked something.

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James Buchanan "Bucky" Barnes

August 2023

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