Closed RP with [herbestdisguise]

[make_it_hurt]

From here.

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[make_it_hurt]

He glances over to the right. He knows Steve's out there, but he can't see and though he's panicking a little inside he can at least focus on his coffee to the exception of all else

[herbestdisguise]

Steve settles into his spot, watching carefully and hoping things are going well. he's not sure what to do from here and that's more than obvious. He wants to say something, to have Bucky come home with him but he has the strong feeling that he'll be refused.

"So..." he says, his tone unsure. "Uhm...."

Natasha bites back a laugh. This was hilariously awkward and while she felt as if she should do something, she wanted to let the other two lead the discussion more than her doing so

[make_it_hurt]

"Can I..." He hesitates, "Can I be alone?" He looks at Natasha, keeping his cup close to his chest. "I want to close the door." He was feeling overstimulated again, wanting to curl up in the dark again.

[herbestdisguise]

Steve doesn't say anything for a moment but Natasha is already getting to her feet. "Come on," she says, moving around him to get out of the closet. "Let's give the guy a break."

Steve is getting to his feet, a little numbed over at this point. It feels strange but he honestly has no idea how to react to this new version of the person he knew. It's more than a little painful but Natasha seems to know what she's doing, so he lets her take the lead on this.

[make_it_hurt]

He pulls shut the door once Natasha is out and breathes a sigh of relief once he's alone in the dark.

Steve watches the door shut, before he turns to Natasha. "Do you think he's going to get better?" He feels lost and is sure he looks that way too.

[herbestdisguise]

"I think it's going to take a hell of a lot of time and I think you're going to have to be patient and willing to deal with the fact that, while he may get better, he may not be what you expect, but yeah. Yea, I do think he'll get better."

She moves over to him, putting a hand on his shoulder. "We've got him now, that's the first step. We'll be able to help him and that's better than where any of us were before."

[make_it_hurt]

He nods. "Where did you find him? How?" Steve moves towards the couch and sits down, resting his head in his hands.

Bucky was back, and he was much more broken than Steve could ever have imagined. Steve could deal with the Soldier. But the broken man in the closet was an unknown.

[herbestdisguise]

"He'd been following me," she says. "I'd been waiting to see if he would approach and he did. I don't know how he's been making it this far. He's half starved and was pretty sleep deprived from what I could tell."

She sighs. "I don't mind keeping him here. I think he's fond of my closet."

[make_it_hurt]

Steve nods. "It's been months, he must have survival instincts or something, right?" He looked over at the closet. "I just want to see him, tell him it's all going to be okay." He sighs.

[herbestdisguise]

"Give him time," she says with a small smile. "he's only just getting used to to this whole socializing with people thing. He'll come around soon enough."

She casts her eyes toward the closet. "Besides, now that he has a safe place and people he can trust, I think it's going to make a hell of a lot of difference."

[make_it_hurt]

"I just hope he'll come around and let me help him." Steve sighs. "At least he seems to trust you, I just wish I knew why he's afraid of me."

[herbestdisguise]

"I'm not sure it's fear exactly," she says, picking up her drink and taking a sip. "Remember that you knew him. There's a lot of expectation when there's really not as much with me."

"That's probably not the whole thing," she adds after a moment. "But it probably doesn't help matters."

[make_it_hurt]

Steve thought back to the glimpse of Bucky he had seen through the cracked open closet door - dirty and unshaven and afraid, even when he was drinking the coffee and smiling.

"I just want to help him, Nat. He's my best friend and I hate feeling so helpless."

[herbestdisguise]

"And you will," she assures with a hand on his shoulder. "It's just going to take time. Probably a lot of it and you're going to have to take whatever progress comes your way."

[make_it_hurt]

Steve sighs and leans into her touch. "I should probably go... I don't want to make him feel unsafe." Leaving was the last thing he wanted to do. But he didn't want to pressure Bucky. "Will you call me if anything else happens? Or he asks for me or whatever."

[herbestdisguise]

"Yeah, definitely." She offers him a smile. "We'll figure this out. I can't promise you will enjoy the conclusion that we come to but we will figure it out."

[make_it_hurt]

Steve gets to his feet with a nod, then crosses to the closet. He crouches down next to the door. "I'm gonna go, but if you want to talk to me or anything, just tell Natasha, okay?" There's no response from Bucky, but he didn't really expect one, either.

He rises up. "Thank you, Natasha. If you need anything, even if it's for me to bring you coffee, tell me and I'll do it. I have to help him however I can, even if it's by helping you." Then he leaves, pulling the door shut behind him.

When the door closes, he lets out a soft sigh of relief and finally relaxes. His coffee is already almost gone, but he doesn't much care. He's warm all the way and safe.

[herbestdisguise]

She waves him off. "I'll make you regret that one day," she says with a light grin. "But yeah, I will. I'll keep yu posted on how he's doing."

She watches him leave, collects her drink and settles on the wall next to the closet door, listening for any noise that might tell her something's gone south.

[make_it_hurt]

He's almost too warm. He sets down his cup and started to strip out of his jackets until all he's wearing is the tank top he had been wearing under his armor, his pants and his boots.

Then he opens the door and peeks out. He watches Natasha carefully, studying her features.

[herbestdisguise]

She hears the door open and turns to catch sight of him peering out. "hey," she greets, nothing but casual and relaxed. "Were you hot?" She can see the fact that he's removed some of the clothes.

She's going to try to coax him out sometime tonight but not quite yet. If he comes out on is own that's one thing but she won't push him to leave right this second.

[make_it_hurt]

He nods. "Yeah." He reaches over to where metal meets skin, feeling the scar tissue there. On the back of his metal arm there's a huge rent in the metal playing, revealing the inner wiring. "My arm doesn't work anymore," he tells her quietly

[herbestdisguise]

"Don't worry about that," she assures. "I know a few different people who can probably help us out in that regard." She'd rather Bruce than Tony but if it came down to it, Tony could probably be bribed into controlling himself enough to not scaring the guy entirely.

She turns facing him properly. "How do you feel about a show. We'll cover up your arm so the wiring doesn't get wet and you can get clean."

[make_it_hurt]

"A shower?" He hesitates, suddenly remembering ice-cold water, watching blood swirl against white tiles between his feet and shakes his head. "No... No, no shower." He curls back into himself, retreating fully into the closet again.

[herbestdisguise]

"Hey," she starts, moving in a little but not encroaching too much. "What's wrong. Why don't you like showers?"

Carefully, she reaches out one hand to him, brushing his flesh arm with her fingers.

[make_it_hurt]

He looks up at her, flinching his fingers into a fist but not doing anything with that fist. He hesitates, then bites his lip. "After missions... Cold shower, washing off the blood... then the freeze..." He hopes she understands. He hopes the words come out like he thinks he says them, not jumbled up into an incoherent mess.