Closed RP with [herbestdisguise]

[make_it_hurt]

From here.

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[make_it_hurt]

He pulls shut the door once Natasha is out and breathes a sigh of relief once he's alone in the dark.

Steve watches the door shut, before he turns to Natasha. "Do you think he's going to get better?" He feels lost and is sure he looks that way too.

[herbestdisguise]

"I think it's going to take a hell of a lot of time and I think you're going to have to be patient and willing to deal with the fact that, while he may get better, he may not be what you expect, but yeah. Yea, I do think he'll get better."

She moves over to him, putting a hand on his shoulder. "We've got him now, that's the first step. We'll be able to help him and that's better than where any of us were before."

[make_it_hurt]

He nods. "Where did you find him? How?" Steve moves towards the couch and sits down, resting his head in his hands.

Bucky was back, and he was much more broken than Steve could ever have imagined. Steve could deal with the Soldier. But the broken man in the closet was an unknown.

[herbestdisguise]

"He'd been following me," she says. "I'd been waiting to see if he would approach and he did. I don't know how he's been making it this far. He's half starved and was pretty sleep deprived from what I could tell."

She sighs. "I don't mind keeping him here. I think he's fond of my closet."

[make_it_hurt]

Steve nods. "It's been months, he must have survival instincts or something, right?" He looked over at the closet. "I just want to see him, tell him it's all going to be okay." He sighs.

[herbestdisguise]

"Give him time," she says with a small smile. "he's only just getting used to to this whole socializing with people thing. He'll come around soon enough."

She casts her eyes toward the closet. "Besides, now that he has a safe place and people he can trust, I think it's going to make a hell of a lot of difference."

[make_it_hurt]

"I just hope he'll come around and let me help him." Steve sighs. "At least he seems to trust you, I just wish I knew why he's afraid of me."

[herbestdisguise]

"I'm not sure it's fear exactly," she says, picking up her drink and taking a sip. "Remember that you knew him. There's a lot of expectation when there's really not as much with me."

"That's probably not the whole thing," she adds after a moment. "But it probably doesn't help matters."

[make_it_hurt]

Steve thought back to the glimpse of Bucky he had seen through the cracked open closet door - dirty and unshaven and afraid, even when he was drinking the coffee and smiling.

"I just want to help him, Nat. He's my best friend and I hate feeling so helpless."

[herbestdisguise]

"And you will," she assures with a hand on his shoulder. "It's just going to take time. Probably a lot of it and you're going to have to take whatever progress comes your way."

[make_it_hurt]

Steve sighs and leans into her touch. "I should probably go... I don't want to make him feel unsafe." Leaving was the last thing he wanted to do. But he didn't want to pressure Bucky. "Will you call me if anything else happens? Or he asks for me or whatever."

[herbestdisguise]

"Yeah, definitely." She offers him a smile. "We'll figure this out. I can't promise you will enjoy the conclusion that we come to but we will figure it out."

[make_it_hurt]

Steve gets to his feet with a nod, then crosses to the closet. He crouches down next to the door. "I'm gonna go, but if you want to talk to me or anything, just tell Natasha, okay?" There's no response from Bucky, but he didn't really expect one, either.

He rises up. "Thank you, Natasha. If you need anything, even if it's for me to bring you coffee, tell me and I'll do it. I have to help him however I can, even if it's by helping you." Then he leaves, pulling the door shut behind him.

When the door closes, he lets out a soft sigh of relief and finally relaxes. His coffee is already almost gone, but he doesn't much care. He's warm all the way and safe.

[herbestdisguise]

She waves him off. "I'll make you regret that one day," she says with a light grin. "But yeah, I will. I'll keep yu posted on how he's doing."

She watches him leave, collects her drink and settles on the wall next to the closet door, listening for any noise that might tell her something's gone south.

[make_it_hurt]

He's almost too warm. He sets down his cup and started to strip out of his jackets until all he's wearing is the tank top he had been wearing under his armor, his pants and his boots.

Then he opens the door and peeks out. He watches Natasha carefully, studying her features.

[herbestdisguise]

She hears the door open and turns to catch sight of him peering out. "hey," she greets, nothing but casual and relaxed. "Were you hot?" She can see the fact that he's removed some of the clothes.

She's going to try to coax him out sometime tonight but not quite yet. If he comes out on is own that's one thing but she won't push him to leave right this second.

[make_it_hurt]

He nods. "Yeah." He reaches over to where metal meets skin, feeling the scar tissue there. On the back of his metal arm there's a huge rent in the metal playing, revealing the inner wiring. "My arm doesn't work anymore," he tells her quietly

[herbestdisguise]

"Don't worry about that," she assures. "I know a few different people who can probably help us out in that regard." She'd rather Bruce than Tony but if it came down to it, Tony could probably be bribed into controlling himself enough to not scaring the guy entirely.

She turns facing him properly. "How do you feel about a show. We'll cover up your arm so the wiring doesn't get wet and you can get clean."

[make_it_hurt]

"A shower?" He hesitates, suddenly remembering ice-cold water, watching blood swirl against white tiles between his feet and shakes his head. "No... No, no shower." He curls back into himself, retreating fully into the closet again.

[herbestdisguise]

"Hey," she starts, moving in a little but not encroaching too much. "What's wrong. Why don't you like showers?"

Carefully, she reaches out one hand to him, brushing his flesh arm with her fingers.

[make_it_hurt]

He looks up at her, flinching his fingers into a fist but not doing anything with that fist. He hesitates, then bites his lip. "After missions... Cold shower, washing off the blood... then the freeze..." He hopes she understands. He hopes the words come out like he thinks he says them, not jumbled up into an incoherent mess.

[herbestdisguise]

She draws her hand back as soon as she sees the fist, not afraid he'll come at her but worried she'll make it worse.

"Okay," she says. "What if I promise you a warm bath instead? And coffee after to keep the cold away? Can we maybe try that?"

[make_it_hurt]

He thinks about that. Warm water, surrounded on all sides by the closeness of a tub. He nods, then. "Okay. Hot. Hot water. I don't want to be cold, ever again." He looks up at her, hand relaxing.

[herbestdisguise]

She smiles, clearly pleased. "Al right, let me get the coffee going and then I can start the water."

She gets to her feet and heads into ther kitchen, it's an open floor plan so he can still see her and she him as she moves around, getting the coffee maker going. Afterwards she returns, offering out a hand. If he doesn't take it, she won't be offended.

"Come on," she urges. "I'll show you how to turn on the water and we'll make sure it's good and hot before you get in."

[make_it_hurt]

He hesitates, loathe to leave the sanctuary of his closet. But he stands anyways, lets her guide him by the hand into the bathroom.

He looks around, attention caught by the mirror. Swallowing hard, he looks away, not wanting to look at his own reflection more than he had to. He didn't want to see himself at all. Didn't want to have to accept what he saw was actually him.