Steve wasn't sure whether he should feel flattered or dismayed, at the idea that he was the only one who hadn't let Bucky down. He wasn't perfect, he knew that, given enough time, he'd find some way to let him down. Although he hoped it wasn't in terms of protection. Steve would do anything it took to keep Bucky safe, up to and including giving his life for that cause. But he also knew that SHIELD couldn't spare him forever. They'd said nothing about the duration of this assignment, and they hadn't made any moves to get him back. But someday, somewhere down the line... he knew he couldn't be Bucky's personal bodyguard for life.
Although he hoped that, when the time came to leave, he might still be able to stay Bucky's friend.
Steve had been through a war. He knew what it was like to see enemies - kidnappers, whichever - around every corner. He'd seen guys snap, and he'd seen guys get a handle on it. Bucky had been through a lot, personally, and he knew it would take time to bring him back from the edge. But Steve wasn't a therapist, and he didn't know how to do it. Especially if Bucky didn't want to talk to one.
"Hey," Steve said, a lot more gently; one arm closed carefully around Bucky, because while he knew Bucky trusted him, he still didn't want to make him feel confined or to trigger another panic attack. "You'll get through this. I just... don't want you to have to do it alone." He paused, pulling Bucky a little closer. "You don't have to talk about it. But you do have to deal with it. You have to work yourself away from it, or it's just going to keep haunting you. Trust me. I know."
For a very long time after they'd woken him up, Steve had barely been able to shower. He hadn't been able to take a bath. And he definitely hadn't been able to go swimming. Every time he got in any kind of water, he remembered being in that plane, with the water closing in. He remembered drowning. Dying. Even if he hadn't actually died. But that couldn't come close to what Bucky had experienced - Steve had been willing to die. Bucky had been kidnapped and tortured. "Buck," he said, hoping the other didn't mind the little twist on the nickname. He tried to pull back a little, to look him in the eye. "We'll get you through this. I want to help."
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Although he hoped that, when the time came to leave, he might still be able to stay Bucky's friend.
Steve had been through a war. He knew what it was like to see enemies - kidnappers, whichever - around every corner. He'd seen guys snap, and he'd seen guys get a handle on it. Bucky had been through a lot, personally, and he knew it would take time to bring him back from the edge. But Steve wasn't a therapist, and he didn't know how to do it. Especially if Bucky didn't want to talk to one.
"Hey," Steve said, a lot more gently; one arm closed carefully around Bucky, because while he knew Bucky trusted him, he still didn't want to make him feel confined or to trigger another panic attack. "You'll get through this. I just... don't want you to have to do it alone." He paused, pulling Bucky a little closer. "You don't have to talk about it. But you do have to deal with it. You have to work yourself away from it, or it's just going to keep haunting you. Trust me. I know."
For a very long time after they'd woken him up, Steve had barely been able to shower. He hadn't been able to take a bath. And he definitely hadn't been able to go swimming. Every time he got in any kind of water, he remembered being in that plane, with the water closing in. He remembered drowning. Dying. Even if he hadn't actually died. But that couldn't come close to what Bucky had experienced - Steve had been willing to die. Bucky had been kidnapped and tortured. "Buck," he said, hoping the other didn't mind the little twist on the nickname. He tried to pull back a little, to look him in the eye. "We'll get you through this. I want to help."